I Like Food, Food Is Good!

Hey!

I think everyone that knows me or follows my Instagram knows how much I love food. It was never really much of a problem until now.. well, it's not a massive problem but I'm just feeling a bit blah, as you know from my last blog post.

Today I got stuck in a dress in Topshop- for 15 minutes! I was pulling an upset pouty face whilst I snapped this btw (just so you can get the whole mood and setting of the photo)-

Fuck you size 10 dress, fuck you Topshop. It wasn't a nice dress anway. All that trouble for nothing. To be fair the biggest fuck you is to myself for even thinking I was still a size 10! Fuck You Caz.

I know there are bigger things to worry about in the world than my weight and my dress size, but I will be narcissistic here for a moment. I just don't feel comfortable in myself currently. I'm not large by any means, I am just bottom heavy.. which is not a bad thing in my book. I just don't enjoy my wobbly thighs. I just need more motivation and go to the gym more than once every two weeks..

Before having my Bag I was a size 10 with a cider belly. I was vegetarian nearing on vegan, I ate so well and wasn't worried about my weight, I don't think I ever really cared, I was too busy having a laugh and drinking every weekend, my cider belly made me laugh and I was loving Newbury town (lol why oh why).

I stopped being veg maybe 4 or 5 months after having the bag. If the bag wasn't there who knows if I'd still be vegetarian? 

Where I lost so much weight due to being ill, I saw it as an excuse to stuff my face with anything and everything I wanted. I gained the weight back a couple months later but I've just been stuffing myself since.

Now I don't work in H&M anymore and I'm not constantly running around on my feet I guess I've slowly just been gaining weight. I am a pizza lover, I could live off pizza. And burgers. And curry...

My diet completely changed after surgery, I wasn't allowed a lot of stuff I was so used to eating. Brown rice, brown bread, a whole lot of fibre, fruit and veg. 

I miss eating salads- they give me a blockage. It's pointless me even eating them anyway as I don't get the nutrients from them.

I haven't completely banished the greens though, I have lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber here and there, say in sandwiches but I can't eat a whole lot of it like I used to. I am wanting to try juicing though and I'm thinking about treating myself to a good juicer come pay day.

Eating healthy is something I want to be better at; I'm trying. I want to feel better in myself and by doing this I think I will. 

Anyone else attempting healthy eating? What about juicing?

xo

P.S. This is the song that's in my blog title. Descendents are my favourite band ever, check them out :)

Body confidence and all that jazz

Having a bag doesn't mean you can't still feel and BE attractive.

There are so many females that have messaged me on my other blog who say they don't feel attractive/they feel disgusting, no no no no nooo. You are all wonderful people and can still feel and be attractive with the bag, it just may take time.

Yes there are so many pressures on women (and let's not forget the men too) to look this way and that way, all the magazines telling you, you have to look a certain way etc etc and all that bollocks, but fuck that. I have never ever wanted to look a certain way that any magazine or anyone else has told me to. 

Everybody and every body is different, you all know this anyway but you may need a little reminder here and there :) 

Having a bag doesn't stop you from doing anything, (apart from obviously pooping outta your bum) and it definitely doesn't stop you from being attractive - or desired; The day after I got out of hospital a skeletal, frail mess my boyfriend WANTED to have sex with me, I found it weird cos my eyebrows were growing back terribly, I had lost 4 stone and y'know I had a POO BAG so why the fuck would he even want to touch me?! 

It took me a good couple of months for it to get into my head that I wasn't disgusting. I always used to think to myself, 'what the hell is wrong with him, how can he find me attractive?!'.

I'm much more a fan of my body now, I feel more comfortable with myself. Before the bag I was constantly feeling lethargic and uncomfortable, I didn't enjoy getting naked with anyone and always felt self conscious. I just felt ill all the time, it wasn't pleasant. 

I mean, I still get self conscious from time to time but it's never to do with the bag; I'm just thankful that I feel SO much better. 

xo